Cubs vs Cardinals

After the past 12 games, the St. Louis Cardinals know exactly how Charlie Brown felt every time he went to kick that damned football. Just when he gets close, that bitch Lucy yanks the ball away and he falls on his ass in despair.

Nevermind the staggering list of major player injuries, which is easier to refer to like this: Everyone on the team except Albert Pujols and So Taguchi. Nevermind that (another) one of our pitchers died this year. Nevermind that Tony got a DUI in the spring. Nevermind our World Series hangover from last year. All that and we were a game out going into the Arizona series with what has been referred to as a Triple-A team with Albert Pujols playing first base.

With the exception of a game or two in Cinci, I think we lost like 9 of those 11 games by one or two runs. We were in all those games and one way or another, we just didn’t win.  Then there was the 11-run comeback (and loss) against the Phillies. Are you kidding me?

And every time it got yanked and we fell on our ass, we got back up and tried to do it again. Because we are a dumb, pre-pubescent bald kid? No. Because if we don’t, the Brewers or the Cubs will accidentally win the NL Central.

Lucy, you fucking bitch. �

Cubs “ace” Carlos Zambranohole, who makes millions more than interim Cards ace Adam Wainwright but has three more losses and only two more wins, will start tonight in St. Louis.

And it all comes down to this.

The Cardinals have all but handed over ownership of the NL Central and they are doing everything they can to throw the Cubs a bone here - like dropping 7 straight on the road last week. We’ve even lost almost every starter both in the field and on the mound this year (add Chris Duncan to this long and distinguished list and most likely Yadier Molina). They are even talking about Tony and Dave taking off next year.

The door can’t be any more WIDE OPEN than it is now. As painful as this year has been for Cardinal Nation, we could still snap out of it and go on a tear. If we do, it starts with the Cubs in St. Louis this weekend. If we lose, we’re probably done and all we can do is sit back and pray that the Brewers don’t go to the playoffs.

Can we all agree that nobody wants to see the Milwaukee Brewers in the playoffs?

As if the Cardinals didn’t have enough injury and drama this year, now we lose another starter — possibly for his career. Juan Encarnacion took a foul ball in his eye while standing in the on-deck circle. He’s out for the year at least, which deals yet another blow to an already rough season. And just like that - it could all be over. What a shame, especially for Juan. Here’s hoping he gets his eyesight back, and hopefully, his career.

Yet somehow we swept the up-and-coming Reds and pulled within 2 games again. Unfortunately, the Pirates like having their way with us this year, so no bold predictions from The King this week. Let’s just be happy to get through this road trip intact. We will see Mulder and Maroth back this week, so hopefully that gives us some much needed pitching strength. Then the Cards make their way out here to AZ next weekend.

Then we can take down the powerhouse in the West on our way to demolishing the Cubs! Enjoy your first place stay while it lasts, Cubbies. We’re coming for you [insert dramatic pursuit music here].