Cubs vs Cardinals

Time to crack open the Budweisers and fire up the old shit-talkin’ machine again for another great year of watching the overpaid underachievers from the north side crap out in the playoffs. Nice job in the playoffs last year, Cubbies.

(Fukudome!)

Bold Prediction: The Cubs will celebrate in 2008!

Yes, I am predicting that the Cubs will celebrate what I am calling “A Century of Shitty” in 2008 by NOT WINNING THE WORLD SERIES for the 100th straight year! Yep, 100 years of blaming goats, curses, and fans for their losing. Here’s to the next 100!

(Fukudome!)

Meanwhile, back in Cardinal Nation, I am quite optimistic about this year and the next few. The youth movement has begun in St. Louis, which generally means that we will probably land some twilighter looking for a career revival in the heartland (think McGwire, Will Clark, Larry Walker) and - oh, wait a second - we already got Troy Glaus. If the STL magic still works, he should be a solid bat for us.

We do have some kids who can play D and hit, but they are mostly a bunch of green bananas at this point. I would expect to see a few of them ripen in the minors and come up later in the year to wow us with their skills. The pressure is off us for the first time in a long time since all the lemmings who predict baseball are picking the Cubs and Asstros to win - even Milwaukee. That’s basically saying that the Cardinals are going to finish last in the NLC because we still cannot formally recognize the Pirates and Reds as MLB teams.

The first meeting between our fine clubs happens the first week of May. Then it’s on!

(Fukudome!) 

Somehow, Wrigley Field is apparently still standing after another crappy Chicago winter. I think they should build a new retractable roof stadium for the Cubs. . .perhaps they can call it the FukuDome? How about “the Dome that Fuku built”?

I think he plays right field, where all the real drunks sit. I can just see the new “salute” the Cub fans will have when their boy Fukudome trots out to right this year. That ought to make the WGN sensors happy this year!

But seriously, I wish to god that Harry Caray were alive today just to hear him make the call the first time that Kosuke Fukudome steps to the plate. It would truly be the shot heard ’round the world.Â