Nostradamus Predicts Cubs Sweep of Cardinals
May 2, 2008
Hey Everybody, HarryFromHeaven here. In Lou of this weekends series between the Cubs and the Cardinals, me and God just sat down and cracked our first ice cold Budweisers. So I asked the G-man, “Hey Lord who’s gonna win this weekends series” and he said he thinks it will be the Cubs 2 games to 1. I said “You think? Aren’t you the almighty….the all powerful?” He said “Yes HarryFromHeaven my son, but even I cannot forseeith the future.”
I still wanted to find out who’s gonna win so I picked up my cellphone and called the Robins manager Tony La Russa. Have you ever used a cellphone? I don’t know how they work but they are amazing. I used one to call my friend Steve Stone before. So I asked Tony La Russa who was gonna win the series and I couldn’t really understand him. It sounded like he already had too many ice cold Budweisers.
Then I remembered I had stored Nostradamus‘ number in my cellphone. Have you ever used a cellphone? I don’t know how it works but you can stored phone numbers in them….and then use those numbers to call people on your cellphone.
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I remembered that Nostradamus predicts the future. So I said “Hey Nostradamus, HarryFromHeaven here. I was wondering who’s gonna win the weekend series between the Cubs and Cards.” Nostradamus said “HarryFromHeaven, not only will the Cubs win the series, I see Mondays newspaper headline and it says ‘Cubs Sweep Cardinals’. |
| Also HarryFromHeaven just in case you were wondering, I see headlines all the following headlines in October ‘Zambrano Wins 2008 Cy Young’……’D Lee Claims 2008 NL MVP Award’……’Sweet Lou Manager of the Year Again’…..’Cubs Catcher Soto Edges Cubs Right Fielder Fuck-You Do-Me for NL Rookie of the Year’ ……’The Curse Is Over - Chicago Cubs End 100 Year Drought by Sweeping Red Sox’” |  |
There you have it everybody. Cheers to the 2008 World Series Champion Chicago Cubs.
Harry, can you or Nostradamus read the rest of the article from Monday’s paper and see if it says anything about Mulder or Carpenter coming back soon?
After the alleged beating the Cardinals are about to take, I would at least hope for some good news.
Also, I heard that you actually keep the cursed goat as a pet up in heaven, Harry. . .any truth to that rumor?
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